Using 'Xmas' instead of 'Christmas' … it’s just plain idleness. It's worse than 'uni' (university), 'grand' (thousand) and 'quid' (pound)
Christmas Day … it's just another day ... except for the homeless, sick children, lonely old people and unwanted animals. God only knows what happens to them the rest of the year.
The real Christmas Tree … it's been chopped down, so essentially … it’s dying.
The plastic Christmas Tree … it's not real.
The plastic Christmas Tree … it's not real.
The Christmas Fairy … Who am I to complain? I’m as straight as a slightly-biased die
Christmas decorations … just bling for Xmas ... oops, I mean ... Christmas
Christmas external displays … have the courage to keep them on all year
Christ … lucky he was born in a largely backward and illiterate region. Today the Press would just crucify him.
'Are you Getting ready for Christmas' … annoyingly, people ask me this. Who cares? ... except the children, retail generally, Santa Claus's elves and reindeer (let's face it - it's their big day)
Christmas TV 'specials' … we need them because ... ?
Santa Claus … invented by Coca Cola (JG suggested this)
Christmas presents … a total waste of time and resources, giving and receiving largely unwanted items
No massive sale at DFS ... for a couple of days
The roast dinner, with or without all the trimmings … basically an eating orgy. Far too much to eat. People get offended if you don't stuff yourself until you feel sick
Christmas cake … too heavy
Christmas pudding … even heavier
Christmas songs ... wake me up when they're over
Advent calendars ... why not just buy a huge box of (tiny) chocolates?
Christmas songs ... wake me up when they're over
Advent calendars ... why not just buy a huge box of (tiny) chocolates?
3 comments:
The roast dinner, with or without all the trimmings … far too much to eat
Yet you still manage to eat it all !!
:-D
It's made much easier when one hand is not holding a bottle and the other a glass!
Using 'Xmas' instead of 'Christmas' … it’s just plain idleness. It's worse than 'uni' (university), 'grand' (thousand) and 'quid' (pound)
- Isn't is supposed to represent the crucifix?
Christmas Day … it's just another day ... except for the homeless, sick children, lonely old people and unwanted animals. God only knows what happens to them the rest of the year.
- Yeah but Doctor Who is on the telly!
The real Christmas Tree … it's been chopped down, so essentially … it’s dying.
- So are flowers in a vase. Is that why poor old Mrs F never gets any flowers? :P
The plastic Christmas Tree … it's not real.
- Well there's no denying that it does exist
The Christmas Fairy … Who am I to complain? I’m as straight as a slightly-biased die
- You love it.
Christmas decorations … just bling for Xmas ... oops, I mean ... Christmas
- The naffer the better, I say!
Christmas external displays … have the courage to keep them on all year
- Some people do, and that's even worse!
Christ … lucky he was born in a largely backward and illiterate region. Today the Press would just crucify him.
- He's not Christ. He's a very naughty boy.
'Are you Getting ready for Christmas' … annoyingly, people ask me this. Who cares? ... except the children, retail generally, Santa Claus's elves and reindeer (let's face it - it's their big day)
- Well are you?
Christmas TV 'specials' … we need them because ... ?
- Because Doctor Who.
Santa Claus … invented by Coca Cola (JG suggested this)
- Only his red suit. Have you seen Rare Exports?
Christmas presents … a total waste of time and resources, giving and receiving largely unwanted items
- New socks are handy.
No massive sale at DFS ... for a couple of days
- Jesus loves DFS.
The roast dinner, with or without all the trimmings … basically an eating orgy. Far too much to eat. People get offended if you don't stuff yourself until you feel sick
- Well we had salmon last year
Christmas cake … too heavy
- I like royal icing.
Christmas pudding … even heavier
- Eat it on the moon then.
Christmas songs ... wake me up when they're over
- They will never be over. EVER.
Advent calendars ... why not just buy a huge box of (tiny) chocolates?
- Because every day brings an exciting treat!
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